
Glass 

Book„_ 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSfR 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 



THE 

OPPRESSED 

ENGLISH 



BY 

IAN HAY 

Author of "The First Hundred Thousand, 

"Getting Together," "A Safety 

Match," Etc. 



n 




Garden City New York 

DOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANY 

1917 






? 



Copyright, 1917, hy 

Ian Hat Beith 

All rights reserved, including that of 

translation into foreign languages, 

including the Scandinavian 



f 
JUL -5 iSI? 

?)CiA467719 



CHAPTER ONE 



CHAPTER ONE 

As a Scotsman, the English 
people have my profound sym- 
pathy. 

In the comic papers of all coun- 
tries the Englishman is depicted — 
or was in the days of peace — as 
stupid, purseproud, thick-skinned, 
arrogant, and tyrannical. In prac- 
tice, what is he? The whipping- 
boy of the British Empire. 

In the War of to-day, for in- 
stance, whenever anything par- 
ticularly unpleasant or unpopular 
has to be done — such as holding up 
neutral mails, or establishing a 
blacklist of neutral firms trading 



4 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

with the enemy — upon whom does 
theodiumfall? Upon '' England " ; 
never upon France, and only oc- 
casionally upon Great Britain. 
The people and press interested 
thunder against "England's Arro- 
gance." Again, in the neutral 
days, when an American newspaper 
published a pro-British article, 
Potsdam complained peevishly 
that the entire American Press 
was being bribed with "Eng- 
lish" gold. A German school 
teacher is greeted by her infant 
class with the amiable formula: 
"Good morning, teacher. Gott 
strafe England!'' (Never "Brit- 
ain," as a Scotsman once very 
rightly complained to me.) On the 
other hand, when there is any 
credit going round — say, for the 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 5 

capture of a hitherto impregnable 
ridge on the Western Front — to 
whom is that credit assigned? 
Well, it depends. If the Canadians 
took the ridge, Canada gets the 
credit; and the world's press (in- 
cluding the press of London and 
England generally) pays due trib- 
ute to the invincible valour of the 
men from the Dominions. Or, if a 
Scottish or Irish regiment took the 
ridge, the official report from Gen- 
eral Headquarters makes apprecia- 
tive reference to the fact. But how 
often do we see the phrase: "The 
ridge was stormed, under heavy 
fire, by an English regiment?" 
Practically never. A victory 

gained by English boys from 
Devon or Yorkshire appears as a 
British victory, pure and simple. 



b THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

Now why? Why should the 
credit for the good deeds of the 
British Empire be ascribed to those 
respectively responsible — except 
the English — while the odium for 
the so-called bad deeds is lumped 
on to England alone? To a certain 
extent, England herself is to blame. 
When a Scotsman speaks of Scot- 
land he means Scotland. An 
Irishman, when he speaks of Ire- 
land, means Ireland and nowhere 
else. But when an Englishman 
speaks of "England," he may 
mean Scotland, or Ireland, or even 
Canada! This playful habit of 
assuming that England is the Em- 
pire, and that the Empire is Eng- 
land, does not always make for 
imperial fraternity, even though 
in the vast majority of cases not 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH V 

the slightest ofifence is intended. 
To the average Englishman it 
seems simpler to say ''England." 
But there are other and deeper 
reasons. England is a big nation, 
while the others are small. There 
are more people in London than in 
the whole of Scotland, or Ireland, 
or, until recent years, Canada. 
And a small nation is always in- 
tensely sensitive, and assertive, of 
its own nationality. The English, 
too, are an exceedingly placid 
nation. Their enemies call them 
self-satisfied, but this is hardly 
just. Scotsmen and Irishmen 
celebrate the mysteries of St. An- 
drew's Day and St. Patrick's Day 
with a fervour only equalled by 
that of the average American 
citizen on the Fourth of July. But 



8 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

if you were to ask the average 
Englishman the date of St. 
George's Day, he probably would 
not be able to tell you : and under 
no circumstances would he dream 
of celebrating the occasion. 

"Of course I am proud of being 
an Englishman," he says in effect; 
''but everybody realizes that. So 
why advertise the fact unneces- 
sarily.^ Why make a cantata 
about it?" 

It is this same attitude of mind 
which causes an Englishman to 
care little, provided a piece of work 
is well done for the cause in which 
he is interested, who gathers the 
credit. Instinct and tradition have 
taught him to set the cause above 
the prize. It is this characteristic 
which makes him such an amaz- 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 9 

Ingly successful subordinate offi- 
cial, whether in the Services or in 
commerce. He is not vitally in- 
terested to climb to the top. His 
job, for its own sake, suffices him. 
He is content to work below the 
waterline, and if the Ship goes 
forward he is satisfied. So he 
smiles paternally on these aggres- 
sively patriotic little brethren of 
his; allows them to absorb all pos- 
sible credit for their respective 
achievements; and philosophically 
shoulders the responsibility for the 
shortcomings of the British Em- 
pire. It saves trouble ; it saves ex- 
planation; and an average Eng- 
lishman would rather be scalped 
than explain. 

This stoical attitude is all very 
well, but it can undoubtedly be 



10 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

carried too far. Patience is a 
virtue, but an overthick skin is 
not. The courage of one's con- 
victions can sometimes merge into 
blind indifference to the opinions 
of other people. From here it is a 
mere step to '*You be damned!" 

Let us consider the Englishman 
as he appears to the other inhabi- 
tants of the globe, be they rela- 
tives, friends, or foes. 



CHAPTER TWO 



CHAPTER TWO 

An Englishman and an Ameri- 
can, in the earUer stages of their 
acquaintance, are a complete mys- 
tery to one another. It seems in- 
credible that two such different 
persons should speak the same 
tongue. 

The points of difference are 
not fundamental, but superficial. 
However, things on the surface 
are always more conspicuous than 
things underneath. For instance, 
the Englishman and the American 
are both naturally warm-hearted. 
But when an American is glad to 
see you, he shakes your hand for 

13 



14 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

quite a while, and possibly will 
continue to hold it until he has con- 
cluded his address of welcome. 
The Englishman shakes your hand 
vigorously, drops it like a hot po- 
tato, and murmurs some stereo- 
typed greeting to his boots. He 
/eels somehow that it would be 
indecent to go farther. 

In the subsequent conversation 
the American speaks as he thinks, 
clearly and with cohesion, articu- 
lating every syllable in a well- 
rounded sentence. To an English- 
man, a well-rounded sentence 
savours of pedantry; so he clothes 
what is sometimes a most in- 
teresting remark in a few staccato 
phrases and a "Don't you know?" 

The chief thing that an English- 
man dreads at the outset of an 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 15 

acquaintanceship is expansiveness. 
The more the stranger expands, 
the more the Enghshman con- 
tracts. The only way to win his 
confidence is to show yourself as 
reticent and as perfunctory in 
conversation as himself. He will 
then recognize in you that rare and 
precious object, a kindred spirit, 
thaw rapidly, and unbosom him- 
self to a surprising extent. 

The characteristic of the Eng- 
lishman which puzzles the Ameri- 
can most is his apparent lack of 
interest in serious matters, and the 
carelessness or frivolity with which 
he refers to his own particular 
subject or specialty. The Ameri- 
can, like the Athenian of old, is for- 
ever seeking for some new thing. 
And when he encounters that new 



16 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

thing, nothing can prevent him 
getting to the roots of it. Con- 
sequently, when an American finds 
himself in the company of a man 
who possesses certain special skill 
or knowledge, it seems right and 
natural for him to draw that man 
out upon his own subject. But 
when dealing with an Englishman 
he usually draws a blank. He is 
met either by a cold stare or a 
smiling evasion. The man may be 
a distinguished statesman, or 
soldier, or writer; but to judge 
from his responses — half awkward, 
half humorous — to your shrewdest 
and most searching queries, on the 
subject of politics, or war, or let- 
ters, you will be left with the im- 
pression that you have been con- 
versing with a flippant and rather 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 17 

superficial amateur. To an Ameri- 
can, who is accustomed to say his 
prayers to the gods of Knowledge 
and Eflficiency, and who, to do him 
justice, is always willing to share 
knowledge with others, such con- 
duct savours of childishness — nay, 
imbecility. 

What the American does not 
realize — and one can hardly blame 
him — is this, that the average 
Englishman is reared up from 
schoolboyhood in the fear of two 
most awful and potent deities: 
^' Side" and *'Shop." It is"side"to 
talk about yourself, or your work, 
or your achievements, or your 
ambitions, or your wife, or any- 
thing that is yours. This is per- 
haps no bad thing, but it certainly 
handicaps you as a conversational- 



18 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

ist, because naturally a man never 
talks so well as upon his own sub- 
ject. The twin deity, *'Shop," is 
an even more ruthless tyrant. 
Never, under any circumstances, 
may you discuss professional mat- 
ters out of olBScial hours. To talk 
''shop" is perhaps the most ac- 
cursed crime in the English Secular 
Decalogue (set down hereafter). 
For instance, in an English military 
Mess, a junior officer who referred 
at table to matters connected with 
the life of the regiment would 
render himself liable to stern re- 
buke. At Oxford or Cambridge, an 
undergraduate who ventured, dur- 
ing dinner, upon a quotation from 
the Classics, would be fined pots of 
ale all around. 

In short, the more highly you are 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 19 

qualified to speak on a subject, the 
more slightingly you refer to it; and 
the more passionately you are in- 
terested in a matter, the less you 
say about it. 

However, perhaps it would be 
simpler to set down the English- 
man's Secular Decalogue at length, 
appending thereto the appropriate 
comments of the proverbial Man 
from Missoujri. Here it is. 

TJie Englishman s Secular Deca- 
logue 

(1) Thou shalt own allegiance 
to no man, save The King. Thou 
shalt be deferential to those above 
thee in station, and considerate of 
those below thee. To those of 
thine own rank thou mayest be- 
have as seemeth good to thee. 



20 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

[The Man from Missouri: "I own 
allegiance to nothing on earth but 
the American flag. As a democrat, 
I recognize no man as being either 
above ox below me in station."] 

{%) Thou shalt worship thine 
ancestors and family connections. 

{The Man from Missouri: **You 
got nothing on me there. We wor- 
ship our Ancestors, too. Did you 
ever know an American who hadn't 
got his pedigree worked out to 
three places of decimals? Be- 
sides, that is why many of us have 
got such a soft spot for that funny 
old island of yours."] 

(3) Thou shalt not talk " shop." 

[The Man from Missouri: ''That 
strikes me as punk. As a business 
man, without any mildewed de- 
lusions about ancestral acres, or 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 21 

the vulgarity of trade, my aim in 
life is to do business, and do it all 
the time, and never worry about 
hurting the feelings of the family 
ghost."] 

(4) Thou shalt not put on side. 
[The Man from Missouri: "But 

you do/" 

The Englishman: ''No, we 
don't ! That stiffness of manner is 
due to shyness." 

The Man from Missouri: "Very 
well, then. Let it go at that."] 

(5) Thou shalt not speak aught 
but flippantly of matters that con- 
cern thee deeply. 

[The Man from Missouri: "There 
you puzzle me to death. When I 
feel glad about anything, or bad 
about anything, or mad about any- 
thing — well, it seems only common 



22 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH ^ 

sense to say so. Can't you see 
that?'' 

The Englishman: "No. It isn't 
done."] 

(6) Thou shalt never make 
public thy domestic affairs. Above 
all, thou shalt never make open 
reference to thy women, in places 
where men gather together, such 
as the Club. 

[The Man from Missouri: "Yes, 
that is sound. Still, I consider that 
as a nation you rather overdo the 
Secrets of the Harem proposi- 
tion."] 

(7) Thou shalt make War as a 
Sportsman. Thou shalt play the 
game. That is to say, thou shalt 
not study the science too labor- 
iously beforehand, for that would 
savour of professionalism. And 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 23 

when thou dost fight thou 
shalt have strict regard for the 
rules, even if it be to thine own 
hurt. Moreover, thou shalt play 
for thy side and not for thyself. 
Thou shalt visit no personal af- 
front upon thine enemy when thou 
dost capture him, for that is not the 
game. 

[ The Man from Missouri: ' ' Yes, 
I'm w4th you there all the time. 
Perhaps a little more seriousness 
and a little less pipeclay might help 
your Army, but no one denies their 
clean fighting."] 

(8) Thou shalt never be in a 
hurry. Thou shalt employ deliber- 
ation in thought. 

[The Man from Missouri: ^'Yes, 
sir, I know all about that! It used 
to make me hot under the collar to 



24 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

sit and listen to an Englishman's 
mind working — on its first speed 
all the time. Now that I know you 
better, I am getting used to it; but 
I confess, right now, that there was 
a time when I regarded your entire 
nation as solid ivory from the ears 
up."] 

(9) Thou shalt not enter into 
friendly relations with a stranger, 
least of all a foreigner, until thou 
shalt have made enquiry concern- 
ing him. When thou hast dis- 
covered a common bond, however 
slight, thou shalt take him to thy 
bosom. 

[ The Man from Missouri: ' ' Yes, 
that's right. I once shared a ship- 
cabin with an Englishman on a 
seven-day trip. For three days we 
never got beyond 'Good morn- 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 25 

ing,' although I could see by the 
look in his eye that he was kindly 
disposed, and was only held back 
by want of a reference. However, 
the fourth day out he asked me if I 
had ever been in Shropshire. I 
said no, but my sister had once 
visited there, with some people 
whose name I have now forgotten. 
But that was enough. It appeared 
that he knew the people; he was 
their vassal, or overlord, or mort- 
gagee, or something. After that he 
wanted to adopt me."] 

(10) Thou shalt render thyself 
inconspicuous. Thou shalt not 
wear unusual apparel, or thou shalt 
be committed to a special hell re- 
served for those who, knowing 
better, wear made-up ties, or who 
compass unlawful combinations of 



26 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

frock-coats, derby hats, and tan 
boots. 

[The Man from Missouri: "Oh, 
you Clarence!"] 



CHAPTER THREE 



CHAPTER THREE 

The Scotsman, in many ways, 
regards the Englishman from the 
same angle as the American. He 
shares the American's uncon- 
cealed anxiety to get to the root of 
the matter, and cannot under- 
stand a man who pretends that he 
does not want to get to the root of 
the matter, too. To a Scotsman, 
"ma career" (as John Shand used 
to call it in Barrie's play) is the one 
important fact of life; and although 
the most reserved creature in the 
world, he possesses none of the 
Englishman's self -consciousness ; 
and it never occurs to him to do 

29 



30 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

anything so palpably insincere as to 
disown his legitimate ambitions. 
To a Scotsman, then, the English 
are a frivolous, feckless race, de- 
void of ambition, and incapable 
of handling weighty matters with 
the required degree of seriousness. 
So he comes to London and takes 
the helm. To-day a Scot is leading 
the British Army in France,^ an- 
other is commanding the British 
Grand Fleet at sea,^ while a third 
directs the Imperial General Staff 
at home.^ The Lord Chancellor is 
a Scot^; so are the Chancellor of 
the Exchequer and the Foreign 
Secretary.^ (The Prime Minister 

^ Sir Douglas Haig. 

2 Admiral Beatty. 

3 Sir William Robertson. 
* Lord Findlay. 

^ A. Bonar Law, who is half Canadian, and Arthur 
James Balfour. 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 31 

tS a WelshmanS and The First 
Lord of the Admiralty is an Irish- 
man.^) Yet no one has ever yet 
brought in a bill to give Home 
Rule to England ! 

Take the Dominions again. 
What is the attitude of Canada, 
Australasia, and South Africa to 
the mother country.^ Well, pre- 
vious to the War it must be con- 
fessed that the sons of the Em- 
pire regarded their parent with a 
certain good-humoured tolerance, 
not unmixed with irritation. The 
British Dominions overseas are 
peopled by an essentially independ- 
ent and sturdy race. They are de- 
scended from folk who left their 
native land and braved the un- 

1 David Lloyd George. 
' Sir Edward Carson. 



32 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

known, not because they were 
sent, but because an adventurous 
spirit bade them go forth and 
better themselves. The British 
colonies and dominions were all 
founded by younger sons, or men 
in search of a career. They were 
never in the first instance fathered 
by the State, as such. It was only 
after British interests in these dis- 
tant lands grew too great and un- 
wieldy for private control that the 
British Government reluctantly and 
tardily took over their manage- 
ment oflScially. Men sprung from 
such a stock are naturally im- 
patient of stay-at-home folk who 
regard the British Empire as *' Eng- 
land," and who speak patronisingly 
of "Colonials." 

These little differences were 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 33 

purely superJBcial, and by the 
subtle irony of fate it was left to 
Germany to demonstrate how very 
superficial they were. But they 
undoubtedly existed, very largely 
owing to the fact that some — only 
some — of the later immigrants into 
the Dominions were of a less hardy 
and desirable type than formerly — 
men who had come abroad not 
from any spirit of enterprise or ad- 
venture, but because they had 
been a failure at home. Such men 
were neither industrious nor adapt- 
able. It was this class that was 
responsible for the occasional ap- 
pearance in Canada and Australia 
of the legend: "No English need 
apply." Another injustice to Eng- 
land as a whole! 

India, again. Here 'Tax, Bri- 



34 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

tannica" exists in its highest and 
most creditable form. India is 
mainly governed by English uni- 
versity men, selected after labo- 
rious preparation and searching 
examination, from all walks of life. 
Each of these men is a living ex- 
emplification of the British su- 
preme talent — the talent for efficient 
departmental work in a subordi- 
nate position. He may rule a 
district containing several million 
souls, and so long as he rules it, he 
will rule justly according to his 
lights, and he will not make a 
penny out of the operation. In 
due course he will return to Eng- 
land, and live in honourable ob- 
scurity upon a modest pension. 
But all this will not save him from 
being denounced as a tyrant and 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 35 

interloper. The hill tribes of the 
north will east resentful glances 
upon the man who represents the 
power which holds them back from 
the delectable plunderland of the 
south; while in Bengal over-edu- 
cated Babus will bleat indignantly, 
regardless of the inevitable con- 
sequences to their property and 
their women, for the immediate 
withdrawal of the officious and un- 
necessary British rule from India. 
A thankless existence, my masters, 
yet somehow worth while, despite 
endless drudgery, absence of per- 
sonal distinction, and years of 
absence from home and children. 
The Ship goes forward ! 

On the Continent of Europe, 
again, the English are regarded 
with varying degrees of affection 



36 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

or dislike; but their appraisers are 
all unanimous in regarding them as 
slightly demented. To the French, 
for instance, the English Tommy, 
with his uncanny frivolity in the 
face of death, his passion for tea 
and jam, and his eternal football 
games behind the trenches, is a 
standing enigma and jest. But 
Frenchmen will always remember 
how the little British Army hurled 
itself to certain destruction, in 
August, 1914, at the mere call of 
friendship, and French women will 
never, never forget the exemplary 
behaviour of the British soldiers 
/ toward the civil population behind 

the line. 

As for the German, his opinion 
can be succinctly summarised. 
Before the War he regarded the 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 37 

Englishman from a military point 
of view as a negligible quantity, 
from the commercial point of view 
as a back-number, and from the 
diplomatic point of view as the 
easiest thing on earth. Now, ac- 
cording to latest official intelligence 
from Potsdam, it was the reptile 
statesmanship of England that 
conspired with France and Russia 
to invade peaceful Germany, and it 
is "English gold" that has lured 
the people of America to disastrous 
participation in the common doom 
of the Allies. As a soldier, the 
Englishman has done better than 
Potsdam expected: but only by 
shameful contravention of the 
usages of war. The Prussian is a 
great stickler for etiquette in this 
respect. War to him, whether he 



38 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

be emitting chlorine gas or sinking 
a hospital ship, is a serious — nay, 
sacred — business. But the imbecile 
English persist in regarding war as 
a game. What is worse, they win 
the game. Not long ago a regi- 
ment of "Kitchener's Army" cap- 
tured a strongly fortified village 
from the Prussian Guard. That 
was bad enough, but the manner in 
which it was done amounted to 
nothing less than an outrageous 
breach of professional etiquette. 
They went to the assault kicking a 
ootball ! Their commander kicked 
»ff, and they never stopped until 
hey had kicked the ball, riddled 
Ath. bullets, into the trench and 
captured the garrison. And yet the 
English have the temerity to com- 
plain of German breaches of Inter- 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 39 

national Law! Yes, I fear the 
English are most harshly spoken of 
in Germany just now. 

There remains one other point of 
view to consider, and that is the 
Irish point of view. It must have a 
chapter to itself. Ireland usually 
gets a chapter to herself. 



CHAPTER FOUR 



CHAPTER FOUR 

One of the first queries put to a 
Briton by an American after the 
pair have achieved a certain de- 
gree of intimacy, is: "Why can't 
you people settle the Irish Ques- 
tion?'' 

The form of the query varies in 
intensity. Earnest well-wishers 
say: ''I don't profess to under- 
stand the ins and outs of the mat- 
ter, but wouldn't it save a deal of 
trouble all round if you were to 
give them Home Rule and have 
done with it ? " Candid friends say, 
quite simply: '*If you English 
can't run Ireland yourselves, why 

43 



44 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

not let the Irish have a try?" 
(Here again we may note that 
England, not Great Britain, gets 
the blame.) Finally, a well-mean- 
ing but ferocious lady wrote to me 
the other day from the Middle 
West, to enquire: "How does 
England dare to pose as the cham- 
pion of Belgium, when all the while 
she is grinding poor Ireland under 
her heel?" 

All this is very illuminating, and 
at the same time distressing, to the 
stay-at-home Briton, who had al- 
ways imagined that his domestic 
troubles were his own property, 
and were not causing concern to 
other people. But it is an un- 
doubted fact, and cannot be too 
strongly impressed upon the Eng- 
lish people, that the failure of 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 45 

Great Britain to settle the so- 
called Irish Question is a distinct 
bar to a complete entente cordiale 
with America, and, to a certain 
extent, with the British Dominions 
overseas. 

But before plunging more deeply 
into the matter, let us make one 
thing clear. It is not from want of 
eflPort or from lack of good will on 
the part of the English people that 
the Irish problem still remains un- 
solved. 

This is not, thank Heaven! a 
disquisition upon the pros and 
cons of the Home Rule Question. 
Home Rule is coming quite soon, 
anyway. But it is permissible to 
set down here, briefly, the reasons 
why the English people have so 
steadily declined to accede to Ire- 



46 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

land's persistent demand for a 
separate Parliament for so many 
years. 

The first rock upon which both 
sides split is the difficulty of de- 
termining what, exactly, is meant 
by "Home Rule." 

When a responsible leader of the 
Irish Nationalist party states his 
case to an audience which is 
friendly without being bigoted — in 
Canada, say, or at a meeting of 
moderate English Liberals — he 
clothes his appeal in some such 
words as these: 

"All we ask is the right, as a 
little nation, to conduct our 
aflfairs in our own way, without in- 
terference from the officials of 
another and more powerful nation. 
Ireland free, and Ireland a nation, 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 47 

can then take her proper place as a 
loyal daughter of the Empire, side 
by side with Canada and Aus- 
tralia." 

Well, nothing could sound more 
reasonable or unexceptionable than 
that. But two comments present 
themselves. In the first place, you 
will note that the orator says " We." 
*' We " means the Nationalist Party, 
representing about seventy per 
cent. — possibly more — of the Irish 
nation, and ignores the existence of 
the minority — a minority which, 
before the War, had deliberately 
and openly declared its intention, 
and was fully prepared, to fight and 
die rather than be forced out of the 
Union. Such a determination was 
doubtless very indefensible, but 
there it stands. It is recorded here 



48 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

as one of the trifling factors which 
prevent the Irish Question from 
being settled out of hand by the 
mere wave of some amateur 
magician's wand. Secondly, it 
implies that Ireland is not free. 
Now here is a statement that can 
be refuted at once. Ireland is just 
as free as England and Scotland 
and Wales. In one respect her 
i'reedom is very much greater, for 
she is heavily over-represented in 
the House of Commons. An Irish 
member, returned by a remote 
Galway fishing village of fifteen 
hundred voters, can balance the 
vote, say, of an English member 
representing a great working-class 
constituency of forty or fifty 
thousand. If a redistribution of 
seats, on a basis of proportional 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 49 

representation, were to be ordered 
in the House of Commons to-day, 
Ireland would automatically lose 
about thirty seats. The Irish 
members, then, wield a power in 
the councils of the United King- 
dom to-day quite out of proportion 
to the population of the country 
which they represent. 

In another respect Ireland en- 
joys a freedom not vouchsafed to 
the nations of the sister isle. In the 
dim and distant days before the 
War, Mr. Lloyd George was en- 
gaged in a campaign of what his 
friends called Social Reform, and 
his victims Rank Piracy. One of 
his most unpopular flights of legis- 
lation was the Land Valuation Act, 
and another was his National In- 
surance scheme. Neither of these 



50 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

acts has ever been visited upon 
Ireland, for the simple reason that 
the Irish people refused to enter- 
tain them at any price; so the 
oppressed English, as usual, gave 
way, and paid the piper alone. 
Again, last year, when the Military 
Service Act, imposing conscription 
upon every able-bodied man be- 
tween nineteen and forty-one, be- 
came law, Ireland was once more 
exempted. To the black shame 
and grief of every true Irishman, 
Ireland to-day stands oflGicially 
aloof and alone in the struggle for 
liberty and humanity. The 
thousands of her gallant sons who 
are fighting in the trenches along- 
side their English and Scottish and 
Ulster comrades find diflBculty in 
filling up the gaps in their ranks, 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 51 

because certain of their brothers 
prefer to stay at home — to make 
poHtical bargains, or to engage in 
the profitable task of supplying the 
demands of depleted Great Britain 
for ablebodied labour. 

So much, then, for the little 
flaws underlying the responsible 
Nationalist's earnest appeal. But 
a greater shock to the sentimental 
supporter of Home Rule, as such, 
comes when he is confronted with 
this same modest proposal trans- 
lated into the actual terms of an 
Act of Parliament. The Home 
Rule Act, the storm-centre of the 
summer of 1914 — so severe was the 
storm that it quite dispelled the 
fears of Germany lest Great Britain 
should step in and interfere with 
the great coup planned for August 



52 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

— contained the following pro- 
visions; and these provisions were 
the irreducible minimum which the 
Nationalist Party (who held the 
balance of power in the House) 
were prepared to accept: 

(1) A Parliament to be estab- 
lished in Dublin. 

(2) Ireland to be exempt from 
Imperial taxation. Great Britain 
was to pay for the entire upkeep 
of the Army and Navy, but to 
continue to pay the Irish Old Age 
Pensions, together with an annual 
subsidy to Ireland. In other 
words, England and Scotland were 
to find the money, and The Irish 
Executive were to spend it. The 
sum involved, including both di- 
rect payments and remissions of 
taxation, amounted to an annual 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 53 

free gift of about thirty-five million 
dollars. 

(3) About forty Irish members 
were to be retained in the House of 
Commons. 

There were many other clauses, 
but these three will suffice to show 
the difference between a Home Ruler 
indulging in sentimental aspira- 
tions and the same gentleman en- 
gaged in the transaction of busi- 
ness. The second clause might 
have passed muster; for the Eng- 
lishman, with all his faults, has 
never been niggardly. But Clause 
Three broke the camel's back. 

To the average Englishman the 
one redeeming feature of Home 
Rule was the prospect it offered of 
getting rid, once and for all, of the 
Irish members from Westminster. 



54 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

The gentle intimation that forty of 
these would still remain, to assist 
in the counsels of England and 
Scotland, and incidentally to glean 
such further pickings for Ireland as 
could be secured by the help of forty 
skilfully manipulated votes, was too 
much even for the much-enduring 
Englishman. The worm turned, 
and the storm broke. It is difficult 
to understand why such an astute 
leader as Mr. Redmond should 
have insisted upon such a con- 
dition; for it automatically de- 
stroyed the claim upon which he 
based his plea for the sympathy 
of the United States and the 
Dominions — namely, the plea that 
Ireland should be permitted to 
govern herself after the fashion of 
Canada and Australia, neither in- 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 55 

terfering with or being interfered 
with by the Parliament at West- 
minster. 

Further into the poUtical merits 
of the case we need not go. As al- 
ready stated, the purpose of this 
disquisition is not to prove a case 
for or against Home Rule, but to 
point out to friends whose knowl- 
edge of the subject has been de- 
rived almost entirely from the 
perfervid orations of Imaginative 
gentlemen with Irish surnames and 
(too often) German salaries, who 
have abandoned their beloved land 
for the more sympathetic and 
lucrative atmosphere of New York 
— firstly, that England during the 
past fifty years has stopped at 
nothing, short of the disintegration 
of the United Kingdom, to remove 



56 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

and assuage the ancient grievance 
of Ireland; and secondly, that the 
chief bar to a complete and speedy 
settlement of the affair is, and al- 
ways has been, the inability of a 
lovable but irresponsible people 
to agree amongst themselves as to 
what they really want. 

The task of redressing wrongs 
has not been confined to one Party. 
Fifty years ago the Church of 
England was the Established 
Church of Ireland — an obvious in- 
justice to a people of whom the 
great majority were Catholics. 
Therefore the Church of England 
in Ireland was disestablished, by a 
Liberal Government under Mr. 
Gladstone. Again^ for generations 
the cry had gone up from Ireland 
that Irish land was owned by great 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 57 

landlords of English descent, who 
spent most of their time in London, 
and confined their energies as lords 
of the manor to evicting such of 
their tenants as could not or would 
not pay their rent. This was 
obviously a very wrong state of 
affairs, and fifteen years ago a 
Unionist Government set out to 
put it right. Parliament passed 
George Wyndham's Land Pur- 
chase Act, the object of which was 
to enable the tenant-farmers of 
Ireland to huy their farms from the 
landlords. The tenant was invited 
to state the sum which he could 
afford to pay for his farm, and the 
landlord was invited to state the 
sum which he was prepared to 
accept. This was indeed a gor- 
geous opportunity for both tenant 



58 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

and landlord. The two amounts, 
having been stated, were adjusted 
and confirmed by a Board, and the 
intervening gap — no small gap, as 
may be imagined — was bridged by 
the English taxpayer. This little 
experiment in philanthropy cost 
the tyrannical EngHsh consider- 
ably more than five hundred mil- 
lion dollars. Under its provisions 
every Irish peasant is now his own 
proprietor. Evictions are a thing 
of the past. Yet how often is this 
fact so much as admitted by 
soulful exploiters of Erin's wrongs 
in America or the Dominions .^^ 

Then, as regards Ireland's in- 
ability to express her desires with a 
single voice. Roughly, Irish 
political parties fall under the fol- 
lowing heads : 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 59 

(1) The oflBcial Nationalist 
Party, under Mr. John Redmond. 

(2) The Protestants of the 
North. 

(3) The Unionists of the South 
and West. 

(4) The frankly revolutionary 
party (Sinn Feinn, Clan-na-Gael, 
etc.), whose " platform " is absolute 
separation from England and the 
British Empire. 

The official Nationalist Party is 
divided into many groups, but at 
its best it represents the true soul 
of Ireland — the soul of a high- 
spirited, imaginative, and in- 
tensely quick-witted people — 
fiercely impatient of the stolid, 
matter-of-fact, self-complacent race 
across the Irish Sea. In this re- 
spect Ireland resembles a ''tem- 



60 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

peramental" wife married to an in- 
tensely respectable but unexciting 
husband. She wants to "live her 
own life." The Irish character 
again, ever prone to dream and 
brood, prevents Ireland from for- 
getting her ancient wrongs. 
Heaven knows they were grievous 
enough; but they were probably no 
worse than those of Scotland; and 
if they had been regarded as hers 
were by Scotland, they need have 
left no permanent mark. Edward 
the First, *'The Hammer of the 
Scots," wrought no less havoc in the 
days of Wallace than Essex and 
Sir John Perrot in the time of 
Elizabeth. Ireland has her Or- 
monde, and that grim forerunner 
of Democracy, Oliver Cromwell. 
Scotland can point, with an equal 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 61 

degree of unhappy satisfaction, to 
Claverliouse and the Butcher 
Cumberland. But the phlegmatic 
Scot has avenged these outrages in 
subtle fashion. He does not 
brood; he simply migrates to Eng- 
land in the capacity of a peaceful 
trader, and proceeds to spoil the 
Egyptians at his leisure. Ireland, 
differently constituted, refuses to 
forget. And it is those two over- 
whelming forces — undying resent- 
ment, and impatience of the con- 
trol of an intellectually inferior 
though mentally more stable race 
— that lie at the root of the Irish 
Home Rule agitation of to-day. 
*' Leave us to ourselves!" cry the 
Nationalists. '*We don't want to 
be brought up-to-date! We don't 
want to be made business-like and 



62 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

efficient! We don't want scientific 
farming, or state-aided incubators, 
or sanitary milk cans. We are not 
interested in the glorious British 
Empire. We only ask to be left 
alone with our own beloved, witty, 
unmethodical country, to manage 
or mismanage as we please ! " And 
it is that sentiment which has 
underlain the steady, consistent re- 
sistance of the official Nationalist 
Party to all attempts on the part of 
England — some of them very ad- 
mirable attempts — to improve the 
condition of Ireland. Their atti- 
tude is perfectly logical. Such 
legislation, if successful, would 
prevent the coming of Home Rule. 
And most of the bitterness and 
sorrow of the last thirty years has 
arisen from the inability — perhaps 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 63 

natural — of the average matter-of- 
fact Englishman to appreciate that 
attitude of mind. 

"We offer you/' he says, "a 
fair and equal share — the same as 
our owTi — in the running of the 
greatest Empire that the world has 
ever seen. For goodness sake 
what more do you want?" And 
back, without fail, comes the 
unvarying cry — so heartfelt, so 
tragic, yet in many ways so unsub- 
stantial : — 

"Ireland a Nation! Ireland 
Free!" 

And if only Ireland could have 
formulated her appeal in a spirit 
more in accordance with that 
genuine cri du coeur, and less in the 
spirit of the extremely materialistic 
Home Rule Bill of 1914, there is 



64 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

little doubt that she would have 
had her wish long ago. 

Then Ulster. The men of 
Ulster differ entirely from the 
other elements of Irish political 
society in knowing exactly what 
they want. 

"We belong," they announce, 
"to the Union; we are proud of the 
Union; and we shall resist, to the 
death if need be, any attempts to 
force us out of it." 

That is all there is to be said 
about Ulster. But the brevity of 
Ulster's contribution to the con- 
troversy does not simplify the 
solution in any way. 

Here is a curious footnote to the 
Ulster problem. Americans will 
remember that in the early summer 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 65 

of 1914 certain British Regiments 
(unconscious of the very different 
task which awaited them in Au- 
gust) were instructed to hold them- 
selves in readiness to enforce the 
Home Rule Act on Ulster. A 
number of the officers of those regi- 
ments resigned their commissions 
rather than fight against their own 
kin. They were much criticised at 
the time. But in 1776, when the 
British Army was mobilized against 
the American Colonies, a number 
of British officers resigned their 
commissions, too (and incidentally 
sacrificed their careers) , rather than 
fight against their own flesh and 
blood across the sea. Thus does 
History repeat herself. * 

Then the Unionists of the West 



66 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

and South. Their sentiments are 
the sentiments of Ulster, but their 
position is very different. Though 
numerically quite strong, they are 
scattered over a wide area. They 
cannot, like centralized Ulster, act 
on "interior lines"; and it is prob- 
able that when a definite form of 
Home Rule crystallizes out of the 
present turmoil, it will be found 
that their interests have been 
sacrificed by the mutual consent of 
the stronger factions. 

Lastly, that curious medley of 
brooding visionaries — ever the prey 
of the agitator — political place- 
hunters, subsidised pro-Germans, 
and ordinary cut-throats, which 
calls itself Sinn Feinn. This inter- 
esting organization is actuated by a 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 67 

variety of sentiments, varying from 
a passionate remembrance of woes 
long past down to a sound business 
instinct for the loaves and fishes of 
salaried office. The tie which binds 
together all its incongruous ele- 
ments is a fierce hatred of England, 
derived possibly from the remem- 
brance that rather more than two 
centuries ago Oliver Cromwell 
sacked the fair city of Drogheda, or 
in certain individual cases from a 
lively personal recollection of hav- 
ing been committed to gaol for 
three months by a tyrannical mag- 
istrate for the trifling indiscretion 
of burglary or theft. 

Whatever its motives or ideals, 
this party has only one panacea for 
all ills, and that is complete separa- 
tion from "England." They aspire 



68 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

to none of the status of Canada or 
the other Dominions; they are out 
for secession, pure and simple — 
secession accompanied, if possible, 
by a mortal blow at the hated pride 
of England. In order to put their 
amiable intention into effect, the 
Sinn Feinners proceeded, on Easter 
Monday of 1916, to deal the 
British peoples, including some 
three hundred thousand of their 
own compatriots serving on the 
Western Front, a stab in the back in 
the shape of that grim medley of 
tragedy and farce, the Dublin 
''revolution/' The farce was sup- 
plied by Germany, which deposited 
upon the western shores of Ireland, 
from a submarine, a degenerate 
criminal lunatic named Casement, 
who had already failed egregiously 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 69 

in a monstrous eflfort to seduce 
the Irish prisoners in the Ger- 
man prison camps from allegiance 
to their cause. Casement was 
promptly arrested by the local 
village policeman, and his share in 
the matter ended. But in Dublin 
there was no lack of tragedy. The 
forces of the "revolution" struck 
the first blow for Freedom by an 
indiscriminate massacre of such 
British soldiers as happened to be 
strolling about the streets, unarmed, 
in their "walking out ' ' dress. The 
killing was then extended to a large 
number of innocent civilians, not 
all of the male sex; and the apostles 
of Freedom then settled down, with 
the able assistance of the slum pop- 
ulation, to the unrestrained looting 
of the shops and houses of Dublin. 



70 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

Naturally the whole of Ireland 
stood aghast at the crime. Denun- 
ciations of the murderers poured in 
from every side, irrespective of 
political creed. The leader of the 
Nationalist Party publicly repudi- 
ated and condemned the occur- 
rence in the House of Commons. 
Never did England and Ireland 
stand so close together as on that 
day. But one thing was morally 
certain from the start, and that was 
that when the first flush of indigna- 
tion had died down, the old per- 
nicious sentimentality and political 
animus would raise their heads 
again. And it was so. The ''revo- 
lution ' ' was crushed . Some twelve 
or fifteen executions took place, 
either of men who had been di- 
rectly convicted of deliberate 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 71 

murder, or of those who had set 
their names to the outrageous 
document which authorized the 
same. It is difficult, considering 
the circumstances, to see how a 
conscientious tribunal could have 
done less, for to have condoned 
such a blend of black treachery and 
plain murder would rightly have 
been construed as an act of weak- 
ness. But it is even more difficult 
— nay, impossible — to conceive 
any handling of the situation out of 
which persons interested would 
have refrained from making politi- 
cal capital. The Oppressed Eng- 
lish were booked for trouble, both 
"going and coming." 

Probably it would have been 
best to have held a series of drum- 
head courts-martial, followed by 



72 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

instantaneous executions, wher- 
ever necessary, while pubHc 
opinion was not merely prepared 
but anxious for such. But that is 
not the English way. Each pris- 
oner was accorded a full, con- 
scientious, and lengthy trial. What 
was worse, the trials were held 
seriatim; with the result that by the 
time the last man had been con- 
demned or acquitted, Irish public 
opinion, ever volatile, had veered 
round to an attitude of sympathy 
with the frustrated conspirators. 
The opportunity to denounce 
"English justice" was too strong. 
The fact that scores of innocent 
people had been foully murdered 
by the "revolutionists" was for- 
gotten. As might have been an- 
ticipated from the start, the odium 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 73 

for the whole tragic occurrence, 
both the crime and the punish- 
ment, was laid by popular acclama- 
tion upon the shoulders of Eng- 
land. To-day, particularly in the 
United States, industrious propa- 
gandists are busily engaged in ex- 
tolling the virtues of the departed 
criminals ; and no tale seems too im- 
probable, no accusation too fan- 
tastic, for those whose profession it 
is to disseminate them. 

One case in particular has gained 
unnecessary notoriety in the 
United States. An unfortunate 
man named SkefBngton, a harmless 
visionary, instead of following the 
counsels of common sense and stay- 
ing at home, wandered forth into 
the streets of Dublin during the 
height of the rioting. Here he was 



74 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

arrested by an English oflBcer who, 
with a party of troops, was en- 
gaged in clearing the streets. This 
officer had recently returned from 
the Western Front on sick leave. 
Utterly unstrung by the appalling 
sights which confronted him, he 
appears to have suddenly lost his 
mental balance. At the end of the 
day he visited the barracks where 
his prisoners were confined, se- 
lected Skeffington and two others, 
and ordered their execution. The 
sentence was carried out. In due 
course the matter was reported to 
the authorities; a searching inquiry 
was held; and the afflicted officer 
was confined in an insane asylum. 
Such are the facts of the wretched 
occurrence; the wonder is, not that 
it should have happened, but that, 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 75 

in all the turmoil and agony of that 
hellish night in Dublin, it should 
only have happened once. But it 
is easy to imagine the form in 
which the story is being presented 
in the United States. Poor Skef- 
fington is now canonised as a man 
who died for freedom with his back 
against a wall; while his widow is, 
or was, touring the chief cities of 
America, where she is being ex- 
ploited by astute politicians (with 
Teutonic axes to grind) as a victim 
of the tyrannical "'English" Govern- 
ment. 



CHAPTER FIVE 



I 



CHAPTER FIVE 

The redeeming feature of Irish 
pohties lies in the fact that the 
grimmest tragedy is never far re- 
moved from the wildest farce. For 
example, within the last few 
months two by-elections have been 
held in Ireland for the purpose of 
returning new members to the 
House of Commons. In each case 
the candidates have been respect- 
ively an official Nationalist and a 
Sinn Feinner. That is to say, a 
representative of the constitutional 
Home Rule Party has been pitted 
against a member of the frankly 
separatist and revolutionary party. 

79 



80 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

In each case the Sinn Feinner has 
been elected. The fact that one 
of these gentlemen is at present 
undergoing a term of penal servi- 
tude somewhat prejudices his 
chances of taking part for the 
present in the counsels of the 
Empire. It also adds one more 
little complication to the task of 
selecting a suitable constitution for 
a nation which allows its un- 
doubted sense of humour to run 
away so completely with its sense 
of national responsibility. 

As these words are written, the 
news comes that that resourceful 
statesman, David Lloyd George, 
has conceived the happy notion of 
collecting all the Irish political 
parties around one table, with in- 
structions to evolve a constitution 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 81 

of their own — the instructions 
being backed by the information 
that the offspring of this conven- 
tion, provided it conforms to the 
most elementary criterions of com- 
mon sense, will receive ofRcial 
endorsement forthwith. The pres- 
ent titanic struggle on the Western 
Front pales into insignificance at 
the thought of what will go on 
around that table. What will be 
evolved we do not know; but two 
things seem certain. Firstly, prac- 
tically any scheme of Home Rule 
upon which the combatants can 
agree will be accepted by the 
people of England and Scotland. 
They are genuinely fond of their 
brave, witty, and turbulent neigh- 
bours; they are genuinely apprecia- 
tive of the splendid work that has 



82 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

been done in the War by the Irish 
troops; they are broadminded 
enough to bear no mahce for the 
recent disturbance in DubHn, for 
they can now view that untimely 
abortion in the right perspective; 
and they are painfully conscious 
that their own efforts to confer 
peace and contentment upon Ire- 
land have not been an unqualified 
success. Finally, they are sick of 
strife and argument; and it is 
probable that any scheme which 
does not abandon Ireland, and in- 
cidentally expose the adjoining 
coast of England, to the intrigues 
and designs of a corrupt and 
Teutonically inclined Separatist 
Party — and it is this fear which has 
lain at the very foot of English 
opposition to Irish Home Rule for 



THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 83 

generations — will go through. And 
may that day not be far distant ! 

Secondly (and from the point of 
view of this laboured discourse, 
most important of all) , it can never 
be said again, either by doubting 
friend or candid critic, that Ireland 
is debarred from selecting her own 
form of government by the action 
of the English people. 



CHAPTER SIX 



CHAPTER SIX 

Ireland, as ever, has drawn us far 
from our text. 

But I have said enough to 
demonstrate to unbiassed observ- 
ers the present deplorable status 
of that unfortunate country, Eng- 
land. To-day her chief offices of 
State are occupied by Scotsmen of 
the most ruthless type; Wales sup- 
plies her with Prime Ministers; 
while Ireland appropriates all her 
spare cash and calls her a blood- 
sucker. When the War is over, 
and the world has leisure to devote 
itself to certain long-postponed 
domestic reforms, it is most de- 

87 



88 THE OPPRESSED ENGLISH 

voutly to be hoped that the case of 
that unhappy but not undeserving 
people, the Enghsh, may be taken 
in hand, and that they be granted 
some measure, however shght, of 
pohtical freedom. After that we 
must do something for Poland. 




THE COUNTRY LIFE PRESS 
GARDEN CITY, N. Y. 



